THE QUESTION & "Receiving the Gift of Industry Flavor" (Thanks Blake)

The Question
In a recent conversation with my significant-other, she told me about a conversation she had with one of her students recently. This student was looking for summer work as the end of the school year drew near, and she had an interview with a large clothing chain at a local shopping mall. This chain is one of the elite, hipster clothing destinations for those looking for a brand new "vintage" hip t-shirt, or the next pair of jeans made by a brand I knew about before you did. The store is filled with t-shirts slogans and icons that you have to be "in" on to "get", upping the elite-ness. An example of said style of shirt-icon is one with a hand on it, all of its fingers extended out except for the ring finger, which is bent against the palm. This is to signify the "Shocker," a term and an act crude enough that I won't go into any sort of explanation here.

The student had an interview at the store, during which she was asked this question:

"If you could wipe five bands off the face of the planet, what would they be?"

I do not know what she answered, nor do I know if they asked a reason for her choices of bands to wipe out of existence, but I'd like to think that she was at least given the opportunity to rationalize her choices.

What I realized was so interesting about this question -- other than the fact that it says so much about a company who asks that sort of question in an interview (is this person REALLY hip enough to work here? are they cynical and hateful towards the same uncool bands, artists, and people that we as a cooperation are?) -- the reasons behind WHY someone would want a band erased from history are the basis for great conversation. I have been proving this to myself repeatedly over the past week or so. Among 5 or 6 different groups of people I have been posing what is now simply, "The Question," and the talk has been fascinating. People are passionate about the music that they listen to, or at least the people I know are, as am I. As these discussions went on, three of us decided that this would make an interesting blog discussion thingy. I don't really do the blog, though I've read a few funny ones. I typically find them a little too self-indulgent, as will be this one for sure, but perhaps others will enjoy it too. Otherwise, the three of us who thought of it can have a little fun here.

So the Question is posed, and you are challenged to not be simple or trivial. There are too many shitty musicians out there to narrow it down to just five sucky bands. They must be more than that, (or less?), and you must have a strong and sound reasoning as to why you choose what you choose.

As for me, I have only been able to think of one so far, and it is this:

Receiving the Gift of Industry Flavor
If I am given the power to wipe five bands off the face of the earth, than I shall also assume I am given other god-like qualtities, such as the ability to travel back in time. So imagine we're back in 1993. You live in St. Louis. There's a local band that is getting popular. It seems like everyone you know "knows someone in the band", and you go to check them out at this massive kegger. They're great, they're crazy, they're energetic, and unlike much anything you've seen come out of the local scene at the time. They're known as The Urge, and they are cool. Way cool. Three years later, and having caught many more shows, they release an album to much praise called Receiving the Gift of Flavor. It has some great tracks on it, and builds they're popularity even more. They play Pointfest, a local radio station's music festival that hasn't started to completely suck yet. They get bigger and bigger in STL, and sign with a major label, move to CA, get on MTV, and become the epitome of the the clichéd band that gets signed, only to immediately SUCK MAJOR BALLS. They turn into fluff, and disappear quickly off of everyone's radar. I hate them now. It's sad what's happened to them, so my wish is that they were wiped out in a painless way (maybe they all just quit the band...they don't have to be obliterated by a comet or anything...) so as to now spoil themselves. Entertainers know that they should always leave the audience wanting more, and these guys mustv'e never heard that, because they left me wanting less.

So my first band to be erased is The Urge, circa 1996.

TW